The trouble with "too nice" leadership
Elon Musk’s biography came out a couple of weeks ago.
I posted about it on LinkedIn, and my take resonated with people.
In the biography, Walter Isaacson portrays a key aspect of Elon Musk’s leadership style as “demon mode.”
“Demon mode” is supposedly a trancelike state where Elon coldly and brutally rips into people and doesn’t remember it later. It’s part of his secret to getting results.
I hate this leadership style. Don’t you?
I don’t believe this is a great way to get results.
But, do you know what else doesn’t work?
Being “too nice”.
I’m guilty of it sometimes, and I’ve had clients who fall into this category.
The problem is, “too nice” leaders struggle with creating accountability in their organizations and teams.
Typical symptoms of “too nice” leadership:
“Too nice” leaders often work late at night and on the weekends while the people who work for them enjoy short, easy weekdays and lazy Friday afternoons.
There’s usually an open secret that one or more of their employees isn’t performing well, but nothing is done to address it.
These leaders have trouble explaining average ratings, small bonuses, and lack of promotions to their employees.
They don’t give team members feedback throughout the year to help them accurately gauge their performance. Because of this, their employees are often stagnant in their careers.
So, what’s the antidote to “too nice” leadership?
3 steps “nice” leaders can take to create accountability:
1. Make straightforward requests and expect clear responses.
Often, nice leaders are vague about what they need from employees.
This comes from misplaced concerns about overburdening people or creating too much stress. But the result is a lack of clarity about responsibilities, deliverables, and expectations.
Instead of being vague, make specific requests of your team members. Ask them for specific deliverables by specific dates. Work with them to set specific goals and meet or exceed specific metrics.
And, when you make a request, get a specific response.
Rather than settling for wishy washy responses, set the tone that there are only three acceptable responses - yes, no, or a counter proposal (e.g., “my son’s birthday party is Tuesday night, but I can get it to you by Wednesday mid-day”).
Here’s a link to a great article that goes into more detail on this topic.
2. Follow-up on requests.
“Too nice” leaders hesitate to follow-up on requests because they feel it’s disrespectful.
“I asked Bob to do it, and he said he would do it. I should take him at his word.”
Unfortunately, people don’t always do what they’ve promised. It’s not that they intend to break their commitments. They’re just busy and sometimes things fall through the cracks.
They’re juggling lots of priorities and when you don’t follow-up, the commitments they’ve made to you are the easiest to let go.
When you don’t follow-up, over time, you set the precedent that it’s okay for others not to follow through.
Follow-up to ensure follow through.
3. Give feedback.
“Too nice” leaders don’t give constructive feedback.
It creates conflict and “too nice” leaders don’t like conflict.
But avoiding conflict is doing your team a disservice. You’re not actually being nice…
People need to know how they’re performing so they can improve and live up to their potential.
Here’s a simple approach for delivering constructive feedback:
Communicate the Situation, Action, and Impact - Share the context of the situation, the teammate’s actions, and the impact of those actions.
Engage them in the feedback. - Ask questions like “How do you see it?” “What could you have done differently?” “What did you learn from this?”
Provide direction. “In the future, when you face a similar situation, here’s what I want you to do ____.” Make straightforward requests and get clear responses.
“Demon mode” isn’t an acceptable leadership style.
It’s a destructive way to manage people. And it’s usually obvious to everyone affected.
“Too nice” leadership is also destructive.
It’s just not as obvious to many of us.
But by adopting these strategies, you can create accountability and get results without being a jerk.